A Conspiracy of Meerkats

Years ago a friend lent me the classic anthology of collective nouns, An Exaltation of Larks which traces “multitude” nouns like “a pride of lions,” a gaggle of geese.” and so on — some of them quite fanciful, like “rash of dermatologists.”  I’m willing to bet good money, however, that the book does not yet include the one I’ve recently made up: a conspiracy of meerkats.

The meerkats, they are following me.

I think it may have started when I noticed that when my little neighbor dog, Joey, stands up on his hind legs and looks around, he looks a lot like a meerkat, or at least what I imagined a meerkat to look like before they were always in mah face.

"Lookee! I'm a meerkat!"

Or maybe it started when I became a fan of this ridiculously silly “Waiter, there’s a meerkat in my soup” t-shirt.

Or perhaps when I discovered the wondrous, fractured, hilariously funny goldmine of cards and magnets that is the The Frantic Meerkat at the Renegade Craft Fair. (Click that clink. Go ahead, click it. Be prepared to laugh to tears.)

I started to get really suspicious, though, when I was on the plane on my way to Chicago a few weeks ago. The in-flight movie was The Meerkats. I knew Joey the Dog’s mommies wouldn’t believe me, so I took this picture as proof.

Meerkats on a M--F-- Plane!

But the impending meerkataclysm didn’t stop there.

Because on the way home, I peeked over the shoulder of the passenger in front of me only ONCE during the whole flight. At precisely that very moment she was flipping though the SkyMall magazine, and what do you think I saw?

I kid you not. It was a Meerkat Gang Garden Sculpture, three meerkats standing proudly in all their meerkatittude, for the unbeatable price of $85.

Can anyone honestly say this is all a coincidence?

Then how could I possibly be the least bit surprised (although I was) when my doorbell rang the other day, and when no one answered to my “who is it? who is it?” I opened my door to …

I’m mostly happy to have little guy guarding over my patio garden and discouraging the opossums from absconding with the embarrassingly measly  fruits of my cherry tomato plants, but just to be on the safe side I am going to keep my eye on him, much like our not-very-trusting Kibi, who definitely appears to suspect a meerkat conspiracy afoot.

"Go away."

If you have read this far, congratulations! You qualify to participate in Name That Meerkat!  Submit your best Meerkat name and maybe become the Meerkat Godfather.  And to paraphrase The (original) Godfather, “Keep your friends close, and your meerkats closer.” That’s what I’m doing.